Choosing Two

Deciding to have a second child has been an “issue” around our house for a while. My husband and I both always planned on having two children, but so far we haven’t stuck to the plan. I suppose there are many reasons, good or bad, that have kept our daughter an only child for three and a half years.



For the first three years after C was born, she did not sleep well. She was a wide awake newborn, from the second the doctor cut her out of my stomach she was alert and ready to go. I remember strangers, family and friends commenting on “how alert” she was. Well, that alertness also meant that she was awake. Constantly awake. C rarely slept more than two to three hours in a row for the first three years of her existence. The serious lack of sleep on my part made me crabby, or bitchy according to my husband. I was pretty much exhausted all of the time. During those three years, I just couldn’t fathom adding another child. I was already worried about being a good enough parent with little to no sleep and I just didn’t think I could handle it.


Our business was an additional reason to wait. My husband and I are contracted sales people in the Harley-Davidson industry and run our own business out of our home office. As much as I hate to admit it, my exhaustion and caring for our first born pretty much took up most of my time. So our business suffered some and my poor husband was on his own for a good two and a half years.


Another issue: Allergies and asthma. I have them both. My asthma is pretty severe. Poor C inherited them both from me. She was born allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts. We were fortunate that none of those allergies were severe or deadly, but it still created a lot of extra work trying to plan meals and feed her. C has outgrown almost all of her food allergies. She did develop a new and pretty severe raw tomato food allergy this year, but for the most part we don’t have to worry too much. After a pretty serious bout of H1N1 this spring she now has mild asthma. It is controlled by using a steroid inhaler daily and hasn’t been a problem for her. I constantly worry that if we have another child I will be passing it all along to yet another human. There is a pretty good chance that the next child could have it a lot worse, possibly a deadly food allergy or asthma like mine.


My dear husband is worried about the economy and our financial situation, and I am too. I know the economy isn’t in the best possible place, and who couldn’t use more money? I get it. I worry too. I don’t think that I need to elaborate on this issue. If you don’t live under a rock, or if you are not a billionaire, you get it too.


I think we are going to start trying any way……………..