I am battling with one of my Mother In Laws. Yep, I hit the fucking jackpot and got two of them, neither of which really cares for me. My husband’s birth mother lives about thirty miles from us. She comes and stays at his Grandmother’s house, who lives right around the corner but within sight of our house. His mom isn’t your typical mom. She didn’t raise my husband; he was with his grandma until he was five, then his dad and stepmom came and took custody of him. My husband has a half brother who was not raised by her either. He also has a set of boy/girl twin siblings. They were raised by her, but I am not sure that was a good thing.
The twins grew up in and out of drug houses in southern California, no stability with a mom who was using speed and highly erratic. She would get mad at someone and pack them up and leave where they were living for a while, then turn around and move back to the house they spent the most time at. Those kids have been through a lot and at seventeen they have their issues. When the kids were twelve we move them up here for a while so their mom could go to the Midwest and start a new life. That lasted a year and before we knew it the boy was living with my husband and I and the girl and my mother in law were living at the grandma’s house.
Since the birth of our daughter I have had to deal with her regularly. I am having a hard time dealing with the unsolicited parenting advice from someone who I have no respect for and did a pretty shitty job raising her own kids. She is mad at my husband and I because we won’t let her take our kid anywhere, babysit, or pretty much be alone with her for too long. A year ago she threatened to take me to court to get some kind of rights to take our daughter once in a while. My mother in law has the attention span and mentality of a fourteen year old. She hasn’t held a job for more than a few months at a time for the last fifty years and she makes horrible decisions on a daily basis. We are also pretty sure she is still doing drugs on occasion.
My husband’s grandmother defends her. I get it, she is her daughter and she refuses to see how bad she really is. So now I have to fight them both whenever my mother in law is in town. My mother in law will have her mom call my house to see if C can come over there for a while. I know that it is my mother in law behind the phone call, because grandma has rarely asks for her to come over. I have to deal with them both pushing my husband and being angry with me when I say no.
I am at a breaking point here. I have had about all I can take and since we can’t afford to move, I am sure that something bad is going to come out of my mouth soon. And it will be ugly.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Going Nuts
C was born with food allergies. It is a huge ordeal to deal with food allergies. Eating out and travelling are especially challenging. After a little time I figured out how to make it work for our family. I learned how to bake without eggs and milk, I made baked good, pancakes, waffles ahead of time and froze them to make things move more quickly for me in the mornings. C also tested positive for peanuts. It was mild, but we were told to completely avoid peanuts, but not to the extent that I had to worry about foods that were processed in plants the process peanuts. We were actually pretty lucky considering how deadly peanut allergies can be.
After allergy testing by blood work and skin prick every year, C finally had no skin reaction to peanut and her blood reaction was almost non existent. Her Allergist said that in order to be safe and avoid a Epi-Pen episode, he wanted to do a food challenge with peanuts. It is a little scary to take that step and watch them feed your child something you have spent years avoiding. Not to mention the fact that C is three and might not cooperate. But we did it.
C went through this challenge like a freakin' champ. I was so proud of her. After her first bite, a quarter of a teaspoon, she decided that she did not like the taste or texture of the peanut butter. I was worried that she wasn't going to complete the food challenge. But as they brought each "dose" of peanut butter, she sucked it up and gagged down the peanut butter through tears and almost vomiting it back up. I was so proud of her.
I am so excited that my child has outgrown egg, milk and peanut allergies. That is going to make preschool snack time a lot less of a worry for me. The only food we have to avoid now is raw tomato, which is totally do able.
*sigh of relief*
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Peeing On Sticks
I peed on an ovulation test stick today. I am not ovulating quite yet, but it was still a win for me. I never got to pee on one of those during the two years of fertility treatments that I endured while trying to conceive our daughter. All of the scheduled blood work to check hormone levels clearly indicated that I was just not ovulating. I think I ovulated three times during those two years. Twice that resulted in nothing but a normal period about ten days later and once that resulted in conception.
This ovulating thing is pretty exciting to me. I became pretty confident about a year ago, just based upon paying attention to “down there,” that I was ovulating. My cycle was also regular for the first time in my life without hormones. This happened to be about the same time my almost three year old began sleeping through the night. Also about the time I was ready to start flirting with the idea of a second child. But the more that my husband and I talked about it, the more I realized that he just wasn’t ready, mostly because of the economy and financial worries. I didn’t really push the issue, I figured we would discuss it again off and on down the road.
Things changed for me in July of this year. We were travelling, headed into Yellowstone National Park and I ate lunch at a McDonalds in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Yeah, Yeah, I know McDonalds isn’t the best food option out there, but we were in a hurry and I like their fries. Well about two hours after I ate that hamburger, I began violently expelling liquid out of “both ends.” I was pretty sure that I had food poisoning. Thankfully we were travelling by RV and I had a toilet and garbage can at my disposal. It took our family nine and a half hours to make a three hour journey. I was in physical pain as well as not being able to keep anything down for nine hours. My husband took me straight to the emergency room in Cody, Wyoming. After a CT scan to rule out appendicitis I was told that I had a pretty large ovarian cyst but that it would not be causing pain for much longer because it had just ruptured. Well at the beginning of August I found myself in pain again. I spoke to my OB/GYN and was reassured that it was still the same cyst and I was reassured that it wasn’t anything to worry about. The nurse was actually a little excited that I had the cyst, as bad as that sounds. She said to me “That means you are ovulating, on your own, that is a big deal for you.”
I thought about it for a day or two after speaking to her. I realized that she was right. This was a big deal for me. I was ovulating. I am also 36 years old and not a spring chicken when it comes to having babies. I had a heart to heart with my husband and we decided that we both really wanted to have one more child. I really believe that if we waited until the world, our work and our finances are perfect, they day would never come.
We will see where this new journey takes us.
This ovulating thing is pretty exciting to me. I became pretty confident about a year ago, just based upon paying attention to “down there,” that I was ovulating. My cycle was also regular for the first time in my life without hormones. This happened to be about the same time my almost three year old began sleeping through the night. Also about the time I was ready to start flirting with the idea of a second child. But the more that my husband and I talked about it, the more I realized that he just wasn’t ready, mostly because of the economy and financial worries. I didn’t really push the issue, I figured we would discuss it again off and on down the road.
Things changed for me in July of this year. We were travelling, headed into Yellowstone National Park and I ate lunch at a McDonalds in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Yeah, Yeah, I know McDonalds isn’t the best food option out there, but we were in a hurry and I like their fries. Well about two hours after I ate that hamburger, I began violently expelling liquid out of “both ends.” I was pretty sure that I had food poisoning. Thankfully we were travelling by RV and I had a toilet and garbage can at my disposal. It took our family nine and a half hours to make a three hour journey. I was in physical pain as well as not being able to keep anything down for nine hours. My husband took me straight to the emergency room in Cody, Wyoming. After a CT scan to rule out appendicitis I was told that I had a pretty large ovarian cyst but that it would not be causing pain for much longer because it had just ruptured. Well at the beginning of August I found myself in pain again. I spoke to my OB/GYN and was reassured that it was still the same cyst and I was reassured that it wasn’t anything to worry about. The nurse was actually a little excited that I had the cyst, as bad as that sounds. She said to me “That means you are ovulating, on your own, that is a big deal for you.”
I thought about it for a day or two after speaking to her. I realized that she was right. This was a big deal for me. I was ovulating. I am also 36 years old and not a spring chicken when it comes to having babies. I had a heart to heart with my husband and we decided that we both really wanted to have one more child. I really believe that if we waited until the world, our work and our finances are perfect, they day would never come.
We will see where this new journey takes us.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Choosing Two
Deciding to have a second child has been an “issue” around our house for a while. My husband and I both always planned on having two children, but so far we haven’t stuck to the plan. I suppose there are many reasons, good or bad, that have kept our daughter an only child for three and a half years.
For the first three years after C was born, she did not sleep well. She was a wide awake newborn, from the second the doctor cut her out of my stomach she was alert and ready to go. I remember strangers, family and friends commenting on “how alert” she was. Well, that alertness also meant that she was awake. Constantly awake. C rarely slept more than two to three hours in a row for the first three years of her existence. The serious lack of sleep on my part made me crabby, or bitchy according to my husband. I was pretty much exhausted all of the time. During those three years, I just couldn’t fathom adding another child. I was already worried about being a good enough parent with little to no sleep and I just didn’t think I could handle it.
Our business was an additional reason to wait. My husband and I are contracted sales people in the Harley-Davidson industry and run our own business out of our home office. As much as I hate to admit it, my exhaustion and caring for our first born pretty much took up most of my time. So our business suffered some and my poor husband was on his own for a good two and a half years.
Another issue: Allergies and asthma. I have them both. My asthma is pretty severe. Poor C inherited them both from me. She was born allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts. We were fortunate that none of those allergies were severe or deadly, but it still created a lot of extra work trying to plan meals and feed her. C has outgrown almost all of her food allergies. She did develop a new and pretty severe raw tomato food allergy this year, but for the most part we don’t have to worry too much. After a pretty serious bout of H1N1 this spring she now has mild asthma. It is controlled by using a steroid inhaler daily and hasn’t been a problem for her. I constantly worry that if we have another child I will be passing it all along to yet another human. There is a pretty good chance that the next child could have it a lot worse, possibly a deadly food allergy or asthma like mine.
My dear husband is worried about the economy and our financial situation, and I am too. I know the economy isn’t in the best possible place, and who couldn’t use more money? I get it. I worry too. I don’t think that I need to elaborate on this issue. If you don’t live under a rock, or if you are not a billionaire, you get it too.
I think we are going to start trying any way……………..
For the first three years after C was born, she did not sleep well. She was a wide awake newborn, from the second the doctor cut her out of my stomach she was alert and ready to go. I remember strangers, family and friends commenting on “how alert” she was. Well, that alertness also meant that she was awake. Constantly awake. C rarely slept more than two to three hours in a row for the first three years of her existence. The serious lack of sleep on my part made me crabby, or bitchy according to my husband. I was pretty much exhausted all of the time. During those three years, I just couldn’t fathom adding another child. I was already worried about being a good enough parent with little to no sleep and I just didn’t think I could handle it.
Our business was an additional reason to wait. My husband and I are contracted sales people in the Harley-Davidson industry and run our own business out of our home office. As much as I hate to admit it, my exhaustion and caring for our first born pretty much took up most of my time. So our business suffered some and my poor husband was on his own for a good two and a half years.
Another issue: Allergies and asthma. I have them both. My asthma is pretty severe. Poor C inherited them both from me. She was born allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts. We were fortunate that none of those allergies were severe or deadly, but it still created a lot of extra work trying to plan meals and feed her. C has outgrown almost all of her food allergies. She did develop a new and pretty severe raw tomato food allergy this year, but for the most part we don’t have to worry too much. After a pretty serious bout of H1N1 this spring she now has mild asthma. It is controlled by using a steroid inhaler daily and hasn’t been a problem for her. I constantly worry that if we have another child I will be passing it all along to yet another human. There is a pretty good chance that the next child could have it a lot worse, possibly a deadly food allergy or asthma like mine.
My dear husband is worried about the economy and our financial situation, and I am too. I know the economy isn’t in the best possible place, and who couldn’t use more money? I get it. I worry too. I don’t think that I need to elaborate on this issue. If you don’t live under a rock, or if you are not a billionaire, you get it too.
I think we are going to start trying any way……………..
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Spring Cleaning Mid-Summer
Our garage is a nightmare. We can not even park our car in it. My husband is a pack rat and saves everything that he "might use someday." He has tons of electrical connections, the wheel off this or that, bolts, and items that I am not even sure what they are. One of his friends actually called him a "hoarder" a few weeks ago. I do have to say in his defense that he is not quite that bad.
I have saved nearly every baby toy and piece of clothing from our daughter in hopes of clothing and entertaining a second child someday. I did at least donate some baby items to a few young mothers that really needed baby girl clothing. We were blessed with so much baby clothing before C was born that we barely had to buy anything for the first year and a half of her life, so I had plenty to share. Needless to say, our garage is full.
This morning I got some sort of a wild hair. I told my husband that I would help clean out the garage, if he was seriously going to get rid of some stuff. I was not just moving shit around for the fourth or fifth time in as many years. His eyes lit up as if I had just offered to give him a blow job.
We have spent most of the day removing and sorting items from our garage. It looks as though part of some one's house barfed on our lawn and driveway. Throughout the day I have had to turn away car after car of hopeful yard sale seekers with a promise of a future yard sale to come. Unfortunately it is now 7:30 P.M. and we are not even close to being ready to put items back in our garage. I think my poor husband is going to have to camp out there tonight and keep an eye on things. Even worse, I think I am going to have to spend tomorrow finishing up the job. It was my idea, what the hell was I thinking?
I have saved nearly every baby toy and piece of clothing from our daughter in hopes of clothing and entertaining a second child someday. I did at least donate some baby items to a few young mothers that really needed baby girl clothing. We were blessed with so much baby clothing before C was born that we barely had to buy anything for the first year and a half of her life, so I had plenty to share. Needless to say, our garage is full.
This morning I got some sort of a wild hair. I told my husband that I would help clean out the garage, if he was seriously going to get rid of some stuff. I was not just moving shit around for the fourth or fifth time in as many years. His eyes lit up as if I had just offered to give him a blow job.
We have spent most of the day removing and sorting items from our garage. It looks as though part of some one's house barfed on our lawn and driveway. Throughout the day I have had to turn away car after car of hopeful yard sale seekers with a promise of a future yard sale to come. Unfortunately it is now 7:30 P.M. and we are not even close to being ready to put items back in our garage. I think my poor husband is going to have to camp out there tonight and keep an eye on things. Even worse, I think I am going to have to spend tomorrow finishing up the job. It was my idea, what the hell was I thinking?
Off And Running
My blog is off and running, but still under construction. No hard hat required.
You can call me Fibi.
I am a work at home mom who is running a business in sales with my husband. He travels a lot. I am home a lot. It is a challenge working with your spouse full time. I am sure you will hear me complain about that more in the future.
I also have a lot of in-laws that you'll be hearing about. Sometimes dealing with family is a huge issue for me and I WILL be complaining about that in the future too.
After a few years of infertility, we were blessed with a baby girl. That baby girl, who I will simply call "C" (to make my husband happy) is now three and a half years old. She will be starting her first year of preschool at the end of the month.
I am a very opinionated person. I am not afraid to share my opinion with you. I can guarantee that you will not always agree with my or maybe not even like everything I have to say. If I piss you off, you know where the red "x" is in the upper right hand corner. Feel free to use it.
Welcome to my life......................
You can call me Fibi.
I am a work at home mom who is running a business in sales with my husband. He travels a lot. I am home a lot. It is a challenge working with your spouse full time. I am sure you will hear me complain about that more in the future.
I also have a lot of in-laws that you'll be hearing about. Sometimes dealing with family is a huge issue for me and I WILL be complaining about that in the future too.
After a few years of infertility, we were blessed with a baby girl. That baby girl, who I will simply call "C" (to make my husband happy) is now three and a half years old. She will be starting her first year of preschool at the end of the month.
I am a very opinionated person. I am not afraid to share my opinion with you. I can guarantee that you will not always agree with my or maybe not even like everything I have to say. If I piss you off, you know where the red "x" is in the upper right hand corner. Feel free to use it.
Welcome to my life......................
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