Family & Prejudices

I am trying to teach my child that all people are different.  Different skin colors, different hair colors, different abilities, different families and different religious views.  I want her to be accepting of other people, to not be prejudiced and not to hate.  It is not always an easy task around my house.

We are a Caucasian/Native American family.  We live in a small farming community with Japanese, Caucasian, and Hispanic populations. There are very few African American families in our town.  Living in a community with a lack of different cultures and diversity makes me feel like my task is even more difficult.

My daughter asked me the other day why a friend of families two children’s skin was so much darker than hers.  I didn’t feel like it was necessary to start a lengthy explanation of race and how the Caucasian parents adopted two African American children, since she is so little and I didn’t want to confuse her.  I tried to make it simple and relate it to something she would understand.  I held her little arm up to mine and asked her if she and I were the same exact color.  “No Mommy, your skin is browner than mine.”  I asked her if her Daddy had the same exact skin color as her, and alas, he did not.  My daughter loves dogs.  So I moved on to that to keep her interested and asked if her Grandma’s dogs looked the same as our dog and if they were the same color.  She couldn’t think of anyone who had a dog that looked like ours.  My final words, “Every person and every animal look different, even if only a little bit and that is the way it is supposed to be.”

Trying to raise my daughter without prejudices is tough, when she is only exposed to a limited human diversity and we are surrounded people that make it the more difficult for me.   My husband’s grandmothers are elderly.  They say what they want without thinking about the consequences.  I have had to stop them from saying something negative about one race or another in front of her or in my house numerous times.  In fact one of them just told me yesterday that she had to lock her front door because there was a “black kid trying to sell stuff running around the neighborhood.”  I was appalled and shocked that she felt that strongly. I had spoken with the same kid a few minutes earlier, when he came to the door, gave me his sales pitch and respectfully thanked me even though he did not make the sale. I didn’t feel the need to lock the door when he left. He was completely non-threatening and just trying to earn a living. I also have other in laws that feel the same and speak horribly of people that are gay.

I am also trying to teach my child about people with special needs and different abilities.  I take every opportunity to discuss with my child how every person learns differently.  How some people need have oxygen to breath, how some people need to use a wheelchair to get around, and most recently we are discussing speech impediments and behavioral issues. 

It is definitely a challenge.  I feel it is worth the energy and time.  My child is only three I can only assume that is going to be more difficult as she grows and different situations arise.  But it is my goal to teach her that hate and discrimination are not okay, ever.